This Week in Dangerous Games_ Uncharted 3's Tameness, Slow-Mo Cigarette Throwing, and Black Eyed Pea

Here we are for a slightly late Week in Dangerous Games, where we look at the latest certificates from the Entertainment Software Ratings Board to determine what, if anything we should be concerned about this week. Here’s a hint: It’s the Black Eyed Peas. We should always be concerned about the Black Eyed Peas. Uncharted 3 kicks off our ratings with its perhaps predictable mix of “T”-level violence, with injured characters emitting small puffs of blood when shot (though after playing, the fact that there are hundreds of them dying seems more off-putting than the violence with which they go down.) “The words “sh*t,” “b*tch,” and “a*shole” can be heard in the dialogue.” Also, “Crap!” but they don’t mention that. The Shrek tie-in Puss In Boots sounds like a mostly tame jaunt, though it does get a special mention for depicting its protagonist Puss “dragging his buttocks across rummy 51 the ground.” Hey, it’s not his fault his owners won’t take him to the vet! Karakoe Revolution Glee: Volume 3 has a tracklist with the usual suggestive references, this time including drug use! See if you can guess the songs: “That doesn’t mean I’m selling dope,” “Who cares if we’re trashed,” and “Blame it on the alcohol/Blame it on the vodka/Blame it on the Henny.” Every time I find myself watching Glee, I tend to blame it on the Henny, too. The game also features some more racy material like “a character shaking her chest in the face of a boy; girls shaking their posteriors in dance routines; a character licking a woman’s navel, then taking a tequila shot.” Nowhere rummy best in the rating does it mention the warning that the game is based on Glee WWE All-Stars for the 3DS is fairly disappointing, with only the standard WWE violence scoring it a T rating. In fact, its most objectionable content is straight from the real-life WWE, as “A few live-action clips depict a wrestler spraying cans of beer around the ring; there are also a handful of beer references in the dialogue (e.g., “Does anybody have a cold beer for Steve Austin?” and “Drinking beer . . . and raising hell . . .”)” In addition to F-bombs and large splashes of blood, Haunted: Hell’s Reach earns its M rating with explosions that “cause enemies to burst into scattered chunks of flesh” and the ability sadistic players to “inflict further damage after enemies have been killed.” Some saucy flyboy dialogue earns Combat Wings: The Great Battles of World War II a “T” rating, not only for sexually suggestive dialogue like “[S]o tired, I wish I had some girl here to hold my flightstick . . .” but also because “In one sequence, a soldier is depicted flicking a lit cigarette to the ground in slow motion.” What? In slow motion? That is some seriously risqué stuff right there. Lyrics provide another source of juicy Dangerous Games material with The Black Eyed Peas Experience, a dancing game for the Xbox 360 and Wii. As players dance along with the Peas, they’ll notice that “Some songs contain the words “sh*t” and “a*s”; others reference sexual material (e.g., “(Hotness) sex with clothes on . . . And I got a Trojan/Just in case we get it,” “Just wanna squeeze t*ts,” “You know my rummy golds style is naughty, right/So don’t c*ck block me,” and “Maybe if you’re lucky/You’ll get a peep show”)” Dang, The Peas got dirtier since I last listened to them! Lastly, one on-screen characters “breasts sometimes jiggle as she dances.” I’m guessing that’s either Fergie or Will.i.Am.” Hmm, I wonder if this game also includes a ghostly tribute to DJ Roomba You can contact Kirk Hamilton, the author of this post, at [email protected]. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.